Darkness Settles In...

When your going through sadness the last thing you can do is talk with someone who thinks they have it worse...Or at least that's how I am. I have a friend who I haven't talked to in so long, tonight I miss him, I miss his friendship, but we're complicated... Not in any bad way but he's been depressed for a while... & with everything that's happened with me and my loss. I wasn't in the place I could be to take care of him and make him feel better when I could barely convince myself of that... I'm still not in any place to do that... Not yet... I just hope that he's hung on in his time of sorrow & not given up. Tonight I wanna call... Wanna check in on him... Make sure he's OK...but I'm not strong enough to comfort someone else... So I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that someone may need me... Someone may need to hear my voice... & tonight I may give in even if I'm not ready yet...So tonights song is a song from one of our favorite movies... Ladder 49.
Shine Your Light by Robbie Robertson

The cry of the city like a siren's song
Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long
Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky
Must be someone's soul passing by

These are the streets
Where we used to run where your Papa's from
These are the days
Where you become what you become
These are the streets
Where the story's told
The truth unfolds
Darkness settles in

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so i can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength
To carry on, carry on

Don't wanna be a hero
Just an everyday man
Trying to do the job the very best he can
But now it's like living on borrowed time
Out on the rim, over the line
Always tempting fate like a game of chance
Never wanna stick around to the very last dance
Sometimes i stumble and take a hard fall
Loose(?) hold your grip off the wall

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so i can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
Carry on

I thought i saw him walking by the side of the road
Maybe trying to find his way home

He's here but not here
He's gone but not gone
Just hope he knows if I get lost

Shine your light down on me
Lift me up so i can see
Shine your light when you're gone
Give me the strength to carry on
To carry on
                                                       
                                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NghDH-QetPg

Calmness for a moment

Ok So the thing that I posted yesterday sparked an idea for me. Instead of me trying to find songs when I have an instrumental one in my head it makes sense to just post the video and you can hear it for your self. So that's what I'm doing today... I 've known these songs for a long time... When I hear them my soul find peace for just a moment I'm in my own paradise & not the world I live in... (PS Yes there all from a TV show called Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but I don't care these songs help me in a way no person is able since I lost her. These were some of the songs I would listen to growing up when I needed something peaceful to lull me to sleep)

 So since there all relitivly short I'm posting 4

1) Remembering Jenny by Christophe Beck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NjXEDyzFsk


2) Slayer's Elegy by Christophe Beck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNFdIoe9W_c


3) Sacrifice by Christophe Beck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0a9b2ucnrU


4) Close Your Eyes by Christophe Beck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Q80e487SU

Just getting through it...

My days are linked together with one thing...Sadness... Sometimes I just blare something to go numb in the moment... The moments where I'm not sure if I can breath without hurting... My heart hurts, my mind is over working its self with everything... Sometimes I just need that song that's gonna get me to the next moment... So for those few minutes I'm OK... It doesn't hurt so much... The song is Paid by San Quinnn... The lyrics don't matter this time. The only thing that does is the beat of the music blaring in my headphones for those 4 minutes...
Hope you enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygNYyIr0b9Q

You Will Dance With Me...

Today's song I had a few to choose from, & I'm still not really sure which one fits exactly. Its hard for me to have hope but a part of me does. Hope that one day I wont be so terrified. Hope that I will find peace in my life. So with those thoughts weighing heavy on my heart I picked my song for today. It has a piece of my Irish blood in the music which might be why it calms me so much. Plus it's "our" band...Family reference .. Its a Tiffy thing...

Learn Me Right by Mumford & Son's with Birdy

Though I may speak some tongue of old
Or even spit out some holy word 
I have no strength with which to speak
When you sit me down and see I’m weak 

We will run and scream 
You will dance with me 
We’ll fulfill our dreams and we’ll be free 

We will run and scream
You will dance with me 
We’ll fulfill our dreams and we’ll be free 

We will be who we are
And they’ll heal our scars 
Sadness will be far away

So I had done wrong but you put me right 
My judgement burned in the black of night 
When I give less than I take
It is my fault my own mistake

We will run and scream
You will dance with me
We’ll fulfill our dreams and we’ll be free
We will be who we are
And they’ll heal our scars
Sadness will be far away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TKwPOryDrA

You Wanna Be Loved...

Good Morning  Or Goodnight depending on if your an early riser or a night owl. Either way Happy Saturday... Everyday since the loss of Tiffany has been a battle with me. Do I choose to let the chaos take over or do I fight back and try my hardest to stay positive... Her loss still hurts, its like pouring lemon juice over an open wound just to think about her. Sometimes I can't wait for the days where I can think of her and not have my heart ache... I miss her so much. I wish she could still be with us... I've loosed people before but of old age and never so young and so unexpected! OK so the song i picked for today, is a song that lulls me back to life. Out of the darkness and back into the light...
Hope you enjoy it...

Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran ~

                                                              Settle down with me

Cover me up
Cuddle me in

Lie down with me
And hold me in your arms

And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love

Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady

I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms

Oh no
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love

Yeah I've been feeling everything
From hate to love
From love to lust
From lust to truth
I guess that's how I know you
So I hold you close to help you give it up

So kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn9IAPgz3KE

It's About Time For My Arrival...

Hello all, So I'm sure everyone came up with there own list of New Year's Resolution for 2013, and somewhere on the list is to be in better shape, or stay healthy...or something like that... It never fails everyone wants to rid of what they packed on for the holiday season. So the song I choose inspires me for my own health resolutions. The song I choose never fails it makes me wanna get up and start moving... So hope it does the same for you...


Dirrty by Christina Aguilera ~

Ah, dirrty (dirrty)
Filthy (filthy)
Nasty (Christina), you nasty (yeah)
Too dirrty to clean my act up
If you ain't dirrty
You ain't here to party (woo!)

Ladies (move)
Gentlemen (move)
Somebody ring the alarm
A fire in the room
Ring the alarm (and I'm throwin' elbows) [7x]

Oh, I'm overdue
Give me some room
I'm comin through
Paid my dues
In the mood
Me and the girls gonna shake the room

DJ's spinning (show your hands)
Let's get dirrty (that's my jam)
I need that, uh, to get me off
Sweatin' until my clothes come off

It's explosive, speakers are pumping (oh)
Still jumping, six in the morning
Table dancing, glasses are crashing (oh)
No question, time for some action

Temperature's up (can you feel it)
About to erupt
Gonna get my girls
Get your boys
Gonna make some noise

Wanna get rowdy
Gonna get a little unruly
Get it fired up in a hurry
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Sweat dripping over my body
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival

Ah, heat is up
So ladies, fellas
Drop your cups
Body's packed
Front to back
Now move your ass
I like that

Tight hip huggers (low for sure)
Shake a little somethin' (on the floor)
I need that, uh, to get me off
Sweatin' until my clothes come off

Let's get open, cause a commotion (ooh oh)
We're still going, eight in the morning
There's no stopping, we keep it popping (oh)
Hot rocking, everyone's talking

Give all you got (give it to me)
Just hit the spot
Gonna get my girls
Get your boys
Gonna make some noise

Rowdy
Gonna get a little unruly
Get it fired up in a hurry
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Ooh sweat dripping over my body
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty (oh, oh)
It's about time for my arrival

Here it comes, it's the one
You've been waiting on
Get up, get it up
Yup, that's what's up
Giving just what you love
To the maximum
Uh oh, here we go (here we go)

You can tell when the music
Starts to drop
That's when we take it
To the parking lot
And I bet you somebody's
Gonna call the cops
Uh oh's, here we go's (here we go)

Ohh ooh ohh, yeah yeah...

[Redman:]
Yo, hot damn, Doc a jam like a summer show
I keep my car looking like a crash dummy drove
My gear look like the bank got my money froze
For dead presidents I pimp like Huddy roll
Doc the one that excite ya divas (ow!)
If the media shine
I'm shining with both of the sleeves up
Yo Christina, better hop in here
My block live and in color, like Rodman hair (yeah)
The club is packed, the bar is filled
I'm waiting for sister to act, like Lauryn Hill
Frankly, it's a rap, no bargain deals
I drive a four wheel ride with foreign wheels
Throw it up
Baby it's brick city, you heard of that
We blessed, and hung low, like Bernie Mac
Dogs, let 'em out, women, let 'em in
It's like I'm ODB, the way I'm freaking

Wanna get rowdy (rowdy, yeah)
Gonna get a little unruly (ruly)
Get it fired up in a hurry (hurry)
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party (party)
Sweat dripping over my body (body)
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival

Rowdy
Gonna get a little unruly
(Ooh oh)
Get it fired up in a hurry
(Ooh oh)
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Ooh sweat dripping over my body
Dancing getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival

Rowdy
Gonna get a little unruly
Get it fired up in a hurry
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party
Sweat dripping over my body
Dance and getting just a little naughty
Wanna get dirrty
It's about time for my arrival

Uh, what

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rg3sAb8Id8&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4Rg3sAb8Id8&has_verified=1

I'll Be Better When I'm Older...

SO I've been gone again... I'm sorry for the disappearing act, given the holidays and the death in the family I've been bouncing all over the place since November. So Its a new year 2013! Time to start doing this daily again and to not be so depressed about life.. or the loss of it for some... So hope everyone had a safe and happy new year...


So my song for tonight is simple, a love song... It calms me even in the chaos. So enjoy

I'll Be by Edwin McCain ~

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky 
Never revealing their depth 
Tell me that we belong together 
Dress it up with the trappings of love 
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips 
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above 
I'll be your cryin' shoulder 
I'll be love suicide 
I'll be better when I'm older 
I'll be the greatest fan of your life 
Rain falls angry on the tin roof 
As we lie awake in my bed 
You're my survival, you're my living proof 
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up in the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the thing you said


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMiVeK5zGz8